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Our Memory Days

What are Memory Days?

 

Our Memory Days are for children and young people who have been bereaved of an extended family member or friend.

Before being offered support, the needs of every child are assessed so that appropriate support is given to meet their needs at the time. Slide Away’s Memory Days are usually appropriate for children and young people who have been bereaved of an extended family member, such as a grandparent, aunt or uncle, or a friend. We will offer children a place at the next suitable Memory Day with spaces available, and, as far as possible, we try to ensure that this happen by the end of the term following their referral.

Bereaved children and young people have told us that, following the death of someone important to them, they sometimes feel a whole range of emotions: anger, grief, numbness, relief, fear, confusion, despair, shock, denial, sadness, anxiety, depression and guilt. The Memory Days provide a safe and caring environment where children have time and space to express and understand their thoughts and feelings and to:

  • Be listened to and understood
  • Meet with other young people who have been similarly bereaved
  • Have permission to grieve, but also to have fun
  • Find coping strategies and build their resilience
  • Hold onto their memories.

To ensure that Memory Days are accessible to and meet the needs of children and young people of different ages, the format of the Memory Day varies depending on the group of children attending.

Our Memory Days for children aged 4-7 are held on one day.  Parents or carers are invited to attend with their children as we have found that children of this age work best with support from someone they know.

Before the Memory Day, a bereavement support practitioner will meet virtually with the parent and child to put them at ease and help them understand what a Memory Day will be like. At this session, the bereavement support practitioner may also help parents understand their child’s grief and encourage communication between the family. Any questions that a parent or child may have about the Memory Day can be asked at this virtual meeting. 

Our Memory Days for children aged 7-11 are held on one day and children attend without parents or carers. Parents or carers are invited to attend a presentation at the end of the day.

Before the Memory Day, a bereavement support practitioner will meet virtually with the parent or carer and child to put them at ease and help them understand what a Memory Day will be like. At this session, the bereavement support practitioner may also help parents or carers understand their child’s grief and encourage communication between the family. Any questions that a parent, carer or child may have about the Memory Day can be asked at this virtual meeting. 

The parent or carer is also encouraged to join the other parents and carers for tea or coffee an hour before collecting their child. We use this time to prepare you for the presentation of the work your child has undertaken, because this can be quite emotional for parents.

Our Memory Days for children aged 11+ are held on one day and the young people attend without parents.   Parents are invited to attend a presentation at the end of the day. Before the Memory Day, a bereavement support practitioner will meet virtually with the parent and child to put them at ease and help them understand what a Memory Day will be like. At this session, the bereavement support practitioner may also support parents to understand their child’s grief and encourage communication between the family. Any questions that a parent or child may have about the memory day can be asked at this virtual meeting.  The parent/carer is also encouraged to join the other parents for tea/coffee an hour before collecting their child so that we can prepare you for the presentation of the work your child has undertaken, because this can be quite emotional for parents.

Frequently asked questions

 

We understand that children may have lots of questions about what Slide Away Memory Days are like and they may be a little bit anxious about attending.

We hope that the information below will help.

Children will also have the opportunity to ask questions when they meet with one of the Slide Away team before the Memory Day.

Please get in touch at any time if you have any other questions.

There are usually about eight to ten children or young people of a similar age at a Memory Day and, often, they will have come from different schools. However, although it is unlikely that you will know each other, everyone understands why you are there and will be sensitive to how you are feeling.

There will also be adults there who are part of the Slide Away team and you will probably have met one of them before the session takes place.

Before attending a group Slide Away Memory Day, you will meet a member of the Slide Away team. This will give you the chance to talk about anything you are worried about and ask any questions you may have. Our aim is to make you feel comfortable and ready to attend a Slide Away Memory Day as this will help you get the most out of your time with Slide Away.

When you join a Memory Day, we usually play a quick game to help you find out a little bit more about each other. You may feel a little bit nervous initially, but we all help each other to feel comfortable. All the other young people are there because someone they know died too, so they may be feeling the same as you.

We endeavour to hold separate Memory Days for secondary school pupils, so you will be with young people of a similar age to yourself. The activities that secondary-aged young people do at Memory Days, the things we talk about and the way we do them are specially designed for young people of your age.

You won’t be forced to do anything that you don’t feel ready to do. An adult can explain to you why the activity may help you, and they will offer to start it with you, but if you decide you can’t do it, that’s okay.

You need only do and say what you feel comfortable with in our Memory Days. You may find that as you get to know the others you feel more ready to talk, but there will be absolutely no pressure from anyone, at any time, to do or say anything you are not comfortable with.

You can wear any clothes that you feel comfortable in to a Slide Away Memory Day. Make sure you don't mind them getting a bit messy! You don't need to wear your school uniform. 

Some members of the Slide Away team have had someone very close and special die. Most will have had someone in their life die. All of the adults are kind and caring, and they are good listeners if you want to talk.